I was thinking to myself that vegans are really obscure creatures, we are so far removed from what is deemed normal that we have our very own society. We know each other without a word spoken!!!
Here is a list of 10 ways to know if you are a vegan..
1. You go into a health food store and random people follow you asking if you know how to make seitan.
2. You make your own seitan
3. You follow a complete stranger through Wal-Mart just to see if the coat she is wearing is real fur. Secretly you hope it is, so you can spray the back of it with the red spray paint you have in your cart for your antique chairs on your porch.......upon further inspection you realize it is fake and have mixed emotions.
5. You know what you can eat in every restaurant within a 150 mile radius.
6. You love that you can eat whatever you want and never get fat or have guilt.
7. You have a love affair with tofu and......... Joaquin Phoenix
8. You know the difference between Nutritional Yeast, Brewers Yeast and Fast acting Yeast
9. You own no buttons or stickers that say your vegan....but you do have a hidden tattoo that says......
10. And finally, You secretly plan on making everyone you see a vegan.......and taking over the world.
I hope you enjoyed my silly list. I was thinking this as I shopped in Wal-Mart, being followed by a complete stranger bent on asking me about tofu, while I stalked a woman wearing a full length fur coat. I was picking up some red spray paint for my antique tulip chairs, and getting more vegan chocolate chips for scones, thinking of Joaquin Phoenix and what he would think of my tattoo.........