I am sorry for the lack of food lately.....

My oldest daughter Emma is getting her very first apartment tomorrow on Easter Sunday....
For the past week I have literally been at Emma's side. Emma feels she cannot do anything without me. Whether this is a strategic move, (because she knows I will buy her whatever she wants), or the little girl in her, clinging to her security blanket.... my life has revolved around my daughter, I cannot be more than 3 feet away at all times.

We have signed papers at midnight together twice... Looked at the dirty apartment 6 times, (as of last night at 10:30pm, they still hadn't cleaned it)

Bought ;
Cleaning supplies
toilet paper and paper towels
Trash bin
laundry hamper and laundry soap, dryer sheets
Towels
kitchen accessories, plus pots and pans
coffee pot
toaster
a tulip for her patio
an ivy plant, for the house
A new couch
A new chair
pictures......

I am completely exhausted. Please do not get me wrong, I love to shop.

I do not love to shop 8 days in a row with my daughter that before she purchases something goes "What do you think"?

She honestly cannot make a decision at all, if I look dissaproving, or unsure, she will put it back, even if she loves it.
If she loved something with all her heart and soul, and knew the price was right, and it was the last one and I happened to get a random piece of floating lint in my eye and squinted in a way that signaled...Hey I have something in my eye, she would put it back......SIGH!

8 straight days my friends. I went out without her and bought all of her cleaning supplies myself, I knew she was going to stand for hours and try and decide between Palmolive or Dawn dish detergent.

And then there is me. When I was 18, I moved into my own apartment. I was an independent woman (did I mention it was across the street from my mother?) I was on my own and fancy free! (across the street from my beloved mother)

I have always known what I wanted. When I went shopping for my first house, I knew the dishes I wanted, what glasses I needed.
Exactly what furniture I would by (ugly cornflower blue sofa's and a light dresser set, that I hated within two years....)

I did not ask my mother for her opinion, other than, should I get a dish service of 8 or 12?

I have distinct tastes, and I do not know why....
I will not use anything other than Charmin ultra soft toilet paper...it is $11.50 on sale for 9 rolls, I think it is a deal, my friend Felissa almost has a heart attack. I will not use anything but Viva paper towels, they are almost $2.00 a roll, but I barely use them, so I like the good ones. Napkins are the fancy dinner napkins that you buy for like, holidays, extra thick with tiny ruffles and a flower in the corner.

Seventh generation dish soap
Seventh Generation dishwasher det.
All detergent, is my favorite, but I switched to an all organic powder detergerent, that works well and smells great!

Emma buys cheap toilet paper (is it wrong if I bring my own roll along with me when I visit?)
She buys whatever is on sale and the cheapest (just like my mother did)
Emma is a meat eater, dinners will be tricky for awhile (unless I bring the food)

I know she will do great!!!!

I am hopeful that she will have a good first apartment experience. I hope her neighbors are friendly...but not too friendly, lol
I am excited to see what she does with her new little home.
Emma has a very spunky attitude and I am positive her apartment will have the same air about it too!

Now for the heavy part....
While I have a LA...TEE...DA... attitude on here, my heart is breaking just a little to see my little girl taking a tiny step into this huge world.
I am fearful and excited.
I feel loss and renewal.
It is a strange feeling to let my child go, knowing she will do just great without me, and secretly hoping she will still need her momma..

It has been a very long week for us, but I am sure next week will be even longer.

Next week she won't be under foot, singing her happy little songs, and irritating her sister.
I won't have to tell her to shut the Fridge door, or pick up her shoes, before I accidentally kill myself.

My heart is full for my daughter. I want Emma to fly and be free and experience life, all of this is so exciting and new for her!

My heart is also breaking, just a bit...My little girl has grown into a woman, and she is the most magnificent thing I have ever seen in my life...