The Remicade that wasn't or Why Me!

Hello! How are all of your doing today?
Did you enjoy your weekend?

My weekend was fun, We went to a family picnic and played softball. That is the first time I have played softball in years and years! It felt good to run and play with my husband!

Today was supposed to be Remicade day.... I have talked about my illness previously, if you would like to read it, I talk about it here: http://vivaciousvegan-intentionalliving.blogspot.com/2010/03/psst-i-want-to-tell-you-something.html
but I thought I would share a little bit more....Because today I hate my disease....and my veins....and my body!

I have terrible veins...I mean really horrible, flattening, rolling, blowing out, deep veins, covered by super thick skin that is difficult to pierce with a needle. I must get a Remicade every 7 weeks, and every 7 weeks I get poked and prodded...

Remicade is a infusion very similar to Chemo, it attacks the area's of your body that are affected, which in my case is top to bottom, and it attacks the damaged cells. Remicade destroys your immune system to build up a stronger defense to protect from the irrevocable damage brought on by my illness. It is also very expensive. It costs $25, 860.00 a year. That does not include, doctor visits or additional drugs that I take to help ease the pain of my illness.

Remicade is a lifesaver to me and also thousands of people. I cannot express the gratitude to my doctor or my husbands employer enough that I was accepted for this medication. The ability to be free of plaques and to have my mobility back, are truly amazing to me!

This is my bag baby.....lol

Here is where the hard part begins..... They must find a vein so they can give me my infusion, no vein, no infusion.....
Today after 6 failed attempts, hitting both my right and left hands in two different spots, one under my forearm and the top of my left arm, I had had enough. I ended up with an anxiety attack and some crying, along with profusely apologizing for having bad veins and the promise to return on Thursday to try again.......

Here is the infusion room, it is quite cozy with recliners and cable television. The magazines are a couple of months old, but I still like to look at them.

The nurses that care for me are wonderful, they are sympathetic and caring. I think they feel worse than I do when they cannot find the darn veins..... They cater to me, they bring me grape juice and offer cookies, I get heated blankets and pillows. They often stop and talk to me about recipes and to see if I am ok. They realize how stressful it is on me and they do their very best to make me feel ok. I love them all, even though it is their job to torture me!

~

Thursday is a new day. My bruises will fade and we will try again. I have hope that they will get a vein this time. In the meantime, I bought a ton of banana's and watery fruit. I am going to drink a gallon of water and if I have to float in there I will, because somehow....someway.....I will puff up these tired old veins....