Wednesday, January 15, 2014
I know I already had this picture on my past blog, but I just love it!
How has your January been so far? Have you begun your resolutions....or broken them yet? So far I am on the straight and narrow.
My resolutions this year were not to lose weight or donate more time to look better or keep up with the Jones'. It was simply to be a better person and to talk to God every single day and tell him how thankful I am for everything he provides for me. Not to ask for special things or selfish things. Just thank Him every night and let Him know I live for Him. I normally do not talk about faith on here as I know everyone is different, but I also think that as a christian, I should let other Christians know that I am here. I have many friends of different faiths and we are all in this crazy world together. We should all be united!
Being a better person is the hardest thing I have ever done. I know it sounds easy and I suppose most people would think that could entail give more to charities, being pleasant, and basically putting on a happy face.
To me, what that means....and with all honesty I share this with you....
To stop being judgmental towards others and also to stop sharing my biased opinions. To wake up and be happy, just because.
Last year I was so negative I could hardly stand it. I mean, I literally knew I was being horrible and negative and nasty....and yet, I continued... It is really shameful.
For every step forward we took, we got knocked 3 back.
We paid off our house, our bedroom ceiling sprung a huge leak and almost ruined our new mattress.
Our daughter announced she was expecting and her husband got laid off. The only job he could get was in Alabama.
It goes on and on....
But what I couldn't see then, that I see now are the blessings.
We paid our house off.... HUGE deal...How many 40 somethings have a house totally paid off? Not many!
My husband fixed the roof. Just in case we have a huge tarp to slap up until we can afford to have the entire roof replaced.
I cleaned the mattress myself and saved a lot of money.
My daughters family did have multiple setbacks, but...her husband jumped to the task of finding a job and keeping one. He is now in Oklahoma and planning on trying to get transferred to Wichita. He sends his paycheck home every single week. He even managed to get home for 2 weeks to be with Emma at Ella's birth.
This resolution has been really hard. I am not a spiteful person and I would like to think that I am kind and patient. My friends and family say how sweet I am, but they do not listen to my inner monologue while I am shopping.... I can really be an ass.
I am short tempered at times and I am judgmental to a fault. But what makes it worse, is I smile. I smile at the people I think need to go home and get redressed in real clothes not pajamas, at the elderly while I think they need their drivers license revoked for driving 25 in a 60 mph. I smile....and roll my eyes when they turn away. Shameful.
So to wrap this up. Every single night, I thank God. Every single morning I decide to be happy. All day long I am not judging a single soul. Not one. My inner monologue is everyone is fighting a hard battle, be kind.
My daughter says I frown a lot. She asks me what is wrong at least 4 times daily. I tell her I am concentrating so hard to be good, I forget to look sweet. I really never thought I would have to concentrate so hard to not judge and be a better person.
Tonight when I got home there was a sack setting between my front door and screen door. My neighbor whom rarely wears more than a smile and at the best of times is questionable... went to get his commodities today, and he decided to share his cheese with me. He left me 4 lbs of strawberries this past summer.
I think about what Mother Theresa would say. I think she would tell me to be grateful someone is willing to share with me. Oh, and to say thank you.
Posted by Brandi at 10:06 PM